Ghungroo - The Bells

Do we choose to become obsessed with someone or we see them around us so much that we tend to become obsessed?

I need new meaning for obsession, positive new meanings.

I want to declare HER obsession with HIM...and I think she is just being herself, then why would HE judge HER anyways? Why cant she be herself and he himself?

What say? Ms. HER, I don't judge you, so feel free to be happy cos you have the right to be happy.

~V

I saw "What's Love Got to Do with It" while sitting at work. Whoever have seen it, knows where I am coming from and where I am going to go...Few years back when I saw this movie, its impact was totally different. Today it was something else!

What love got to do with it? Nothing!!! It has nothing to do with it, love is a sacred feeling and it becomes too much for someone at times. Sometimes, it is just a hidden feeling inside!

On the other hand, Love is nothing but insecurity, and the emotional dependency, specially when you grow old with someone special in your life and/or when you get emotionally raised with one specific one. You tend to become emotionally dependent on him/her in these circumstances. This is another shade of love...

I did the same thing, she did the same thing. Love, yes this is why it was hard to leave him and when I left, it was hard to come out of it, emotionally and mentally. Now when I look back, I feel good about myself that I took the first step. Those times made me feel ashamed of myself for long time. Its not that I wasn't aware of truth around me, when I was there, I knew what was happening to me and I knew it was wrong, but it was hard to even accept it to yourself, forget accepting to others.

I hope someone doesn't live this as her destiny anymore. I hope that I am there for someone and I can help her come out of this emotional crap and mental trauma. I want to do this, I am passionate about it and I am sure I can do it - I will do it.

Amen!!!

VJ

P.S. Need to add more...will do so later, right now..these impulsive thoughts only.

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"If my relationship with her doesn't workout, I would love to be with you"

"I am not looking for a relationship, but if relationship happens, I would want to live it"

I didn't sleep last night, I just couldn't. Seriously, not even a minute of sleep and I am feeling fresh like a rose petal today. I am not trying to feel bad for myself or feel low for self here, but I want to understand the logic behind this weird feeling. What is it which keeps a person up and going for hours? May be anxiousness, Or may be dreams...

Last night, seriously, throughout, I was kept thinking about the responsibility I got on my head when someone told me that he/she likes me...Boy!!! Its a damn big responsibility on my head. It is a damn big image to save!

I think now I probably have to behave the way he/she like me to behave, but then I wonder why so? May be cos I don't want this person to not like me. Or may be I am worried that my real me (whatever that means) is unlike able. Or may be I want to shoo him away. Who knows - the anxiety is hard to handle.

Years ago,I was other kind of person, when I tried to please everyone...when I wanted everybody to like me...when I tried my best to love everyone I knew. This was possible but I think I wasn't at peace. This weird persona made me a strange human inside, because I was all of a sudden one personality in one group and another in some other group. I was the shine of my all friends parties and I was the one who used to be the life of group...but I know, I wasn't always truthful to myself, I wasn't always right. And if someone doesn't like me, I used to feel bad, anxieties used to kill me.... Only few years ago, I started working on not liking everyone and not to be liked by all.

Today I am a bit lost when this person tells me, "V, I really like you...I mean I don't know much about you, but as much as I know you...I like you!"

Phew!!!