Today is Friday, November 21, 2008 and it is probably, a usual Friday for everyone and anyone, but it’s not that usual for me. I am going to sign my divorce papers so it gets file with the court on Monday. I know, I have been waiting for this day with hopes and with tears in my heart, but then I have no regrets, that this day is here. It had to come, so here it is. Today, it’s not black Friday, it has all shades in it, all colors are here, in equal amount, so it is a white Friday to me.
I wrote a lot in last year and half. I learn a lot with and without you. I managed my life, with my approach in last two years. From the day of moving to USA to today, life is not same anymore; my plans for life distorted, my ideas for being myself altered and I am a lot with peace and happiness. I, now have the power within me to live with relaxation and acceptance of personal self and acceptance of situations between you and me. I have more passion for living, much more drive to do a lot in life. I now have someone inside me, one happy and clear person, whom I lost somewhere, with you.
I am happy to be away from you. I am happy to have met you once in my life. I feel good that once you were my spouse. I am once again someone of my own in my life. I am able to accept for whatever you were to me; however you were with me and to yourself; yet I am thankful to you for encouraging me and my life. I do miss your intelligent existence in my life; although I am accepting life without you. I am optimistic for future. I am doing what is in my reach and I am able to manage, what I need, but I will never ever stop the search of better VIMMI in my life, the improved human within me, and the unsurpassed of my own hidden self.
Hopefully, you realize what you did to me and as I can just hope, so hoping that you never do this to anyone. I also hope that you move on in better life and towards better self, towards being the better human, not just the better filmmaker.
And yeah, thanks for breaking my many illusions, such as better actors are always better humans, better husbands are always nice people and the most important; to become a great filmmakers, one need to have better humanities.
Love to myself, hugs to you & self and hopes for both!
(A happy human, a peaceful divorcee)