Tattoo - the same ink thingy on skin, I used to dislike. For me, it was a way to kill the beauty of clear and clean skin. Right now I love looking at tattoos; I enjoy detailing of tattoos. Okay, I am changing; my thoughts are changing for few things in life, cause I am enjoying exploring new ways to look at things. Before I never paid attention to the feeling of keeping a memory in this way, I never imagined living a moment in it, I never loved the details and fantasy of having that ink printed on my skin. I am the same person, but something inside me has changed and I am looking at the world with more acceptances, with open heart. Right now, I am so crazily excited to get a tattoo on my skin, that it’s hard to put the excitement in words.
First time, the excitement of tattoo felt like a wave inside me, about a month ago, and then I killed the excitement with my own judgmental thoughts. About a week ago, when I went to a meditation class with 'J' I felt that feeling again. I couldn’t control the feeling and shared with J at the end of the class. He was the only one available around me, who I was familiar with or may be because he has his arms full of tattoos or maybe I thought he will understand my thought; maybe he did understand or maybe not, who cares! Well he did think it was a funky idea for me, which I guess it was.
Moments spent in meditation brought memory back from the days of my yoga and meditation sessions from back home: open parks, early mornings, and many old people; with lots of love and care in their eyes. I missed Chandigarh, and Silvi Park. This meditation was relaxing; I thoroughly enjoyed it, maybe because it was distraction from normal schedule. I felt my heart racing and at peace at the same time. While my eyes were closed, I saw images of my old life, including my life in India and the moments with my ex-husband, and then I saw the best moment out of all, of leaving him, also the way I came out of that marriage. Seeing that strong moment of a strong self took me to another level of meditation.
I was still lost in that moment when I heard bell…time was up! I opened my eyes, in front of my blurry eyes; I saw many faces, many bodies, mostly full of tattoos. I moved my head to right, towards ‘J’, he was smiling as usual, and then I noticed his arms, un-counted tattoos. I missed the feeling of strong moment of strong self, and that very moment, I decided to stamp a tattoo on my body, for the very first time. I felt good about the feeling of living, sharing and showing that hidden strong person in a little signage … Does this sound cheesy? Not to me, but probably it is cheesy for many of my acquaintances...