Ghungroo - The Bells

I didn't sleep last night, I just couldn't. Seriously, not even a minute of sleep and I am feeling fresh like a rose petal today. I am not trying to feel bad for myself or feel low for self here, but I want to understand the logic behind this weird feeling. What is it which keeps a person up and going for hours? May be anxiousness, Or may be dreams...

Last night, seriously, throughout, I was kept thinking about the responsibility I got on my head when someone told me that he/she likes me...Boy!!! Its a damn big responsibility on my head. It is a damn big image to save!

I think now I probably have to behave the way he/she like me to behave, but then I wonder why so? May be cos I don't want this person to not like me. Or may be I am worried that my real me (whatever that means) is unlike able. Or may be I want to shoo him away. Who knows - the anxiety is hard to handle.

Years ago,I was other kind of person, when I tried to please everyone...when I wanted everybody to like me...when I tried my best to love everyone I knew. This was possible but I think I wasn't at peace. This weird persona made me a strange human inside, because I was all of a sudden one personality in one group and another in some other group. I was the shine of my all friends parties and I was the one who used to be the life of group...but I know, I wasn't always truthful to myself, I wasn't always right. And if someone doesn't like me, I used to feel bad, anxieties used to kill me.... Only few years ago, I started working on not liking everyone and not to be liked by all.

Today I am a bit lost when this person tells me, "V, I really like you...I mean I don't know much about you, but as much as I know you...I like you!"

Phew!!!