Why did I go out with the guy I don't even want to be with? I know he is been wanting to take me dancing, which I have been refusing. May be this is why I met him; though I hardly had an hour to meet, so we met at a coffee shop. We were kept talking and talking, about old days and new days. I didn't even buy coffee, he did!
Okay he is a nice guy, a cute smart ass. Well, don't get me wrong, and I do know him for sometime now, but....We have been talking on and off lately, but when I refused his many offers to meet alone, he just planned on to meet me in all those parties I went to, be it Indian parties, art shows or whatever! Truthfully, I liked the attention he gave me. Actually after meeting him for coffee, I realized R is not a bad guy, he just likes me and probably a loner like me...
He is almost 7 years younger to me, a white guy from Sacramento, not that this has anything to do with his being with me, but I just thought of mentioning. One whole year we sat next to each other and we hardly shared a word more than work and work and work. Now this valentines, he sent me flowers and I agreed to meet him - just to say thank you but....
Truthfully, I guess I was kind of frustrated...so met him. This weird and funny frustration was with loneliness, and his offer sounded fine at that time!!
Damn!!! Why am I so guilty? No, not guilty, why am I so annoyed by this anonymous friend of mine! Gosh, I am complicated for no reason. V, let it go!
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