Ghungroo - The Bells

Life is fun when I drink.....does this means I am drinking too much....or is it Christmas feel right now? Donno but since 3 days am drinking every night...its bad, very bad, very very bad......jeez!!! I should not drink today, but today is Xmas Eve...

I need to hold my over flowing emotions...

STOP WRITING DEARIE......


Ok I wont write for 3 hours.

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Am feeling better. I need some wine.....do you have wine glasses?

(described the exact way my drunk friend told me to describe)

A gazal - Honthon se choo lo tum
Mera geet amar kar do...


Once upon a time there was a girl, Crazy, Fun & Stupid. When she was teen, She used to think if someone will try to kiss her lips (mind it, only lips) it means he loves her(wow!!! that was easy) and if he will be able to kiss her means she loves him too (More easier)...She lived in this spirit, in this fantasy for few years. Then she finished her High school - expecting, that her perfect one will come one day, same way her friends got their perfect ones...she will meet her perfect one too...

She joined college, Life took a strange turn - her Sis got married, without any notice, any celebrations. It took her off the 'Love' feelings, she started hiding her 'kiss N perfect one' emotion inside her, from her. This hiding didn't helped her cos it made her cut herself from world, she could not find any specific reason - but may be she saw pain in her parents eyes, may be the concept of 'kiss N perfect one' was shredding, or may be she was just living each day at times...may be.

She gave herself a break and joined a Camp, cos that camps basics were basics of her life...kids & theater - her 2 favorite things in the world. She actually started enjoying it, Se met so many people, made so many friends - she was happy, once again. She was herself again, outgoing normal girl.

And she met 'Him' in that group. 'He' was a nice guy, he had tons of experience in her interests, he knew the inside-outsides of those destinations, she was choosing as her future. They became friends. They started talking, tons of topics, lot of words, each day, everyday...

And one day 'His' friend joined in...then it was a 3 people team, they worked together, ate together, discussed all most all topics of the world together. There was never ending topics & talks from any thing to everything of this world - talk of love, romance, fantasies and life was always the major topics, considering their age...it was normal. Everyone talked about their wishful love moments and romantic encounters etc etc

Few days passed by and one day 'His' friend offered her a ride to her home, she accepted, as they were friends now. He really took her for a ride, a drive and then suddenly stopped at remote area, for a cigarette...she argued and he shut her mouth with a kiss...she was confused, more than ever. It was 'His' friend, it was not 'Him'. "Whats going on?" she kept asking herself and got no reply...Confused night put a blanket on every feeling.

Next day she wanted to see some storm, some Halchal, some movement, something from Him and from herself...nothing happened...nothing at all. days passed by - All friends seem same, everything looked similar - 'He' was still there, his friend too. No comment, no questions no nothing about that evening. Camp wrapped up in few days. All left to their destinations. Every single kid loved her, her dedication, her work. She kept receiving tons of post cards & letters for whole year and year passed by so quietly.


Next year camp started again - she was asked again to join & she did joined. Again she met wonderful talents, kids and met 'Him'& his friend...A confusion, a stupid emotion tried to take over her for few seconds, but right away she felt mature, she handled it well.

One of the days in camp 'He' met her after the busy day's work, took her in the corner & asked her a question, "why did you kissed my friend?" Before she could say a word, he continued, "why not me too...why didn't you kissed me and only my friend?" She thought he is joking, but no...suddenly 'He' snatched her glasses, throw them on floor & pushed her to the wall...came over to her face, held her tight, so she could not move, and tried to kiss her...and she could see only nasty looks in his eyes, ugly face of 'Him'

She pulled her full power and kicked between his legs with her knee...he was not ready for this so he fell down and she ran away...far far away, where she could never see him or even his shadow ever again...

few years later, she read in local news paper that 'He' is been killed by his Friend, over some girl...and her revenge was taken care of...


(Based on few personal experience & few imaginations)

"Babies come with silver spoon in their mouth" this was told to me by someone...just a day back. My reaction, really? Then why do babies beg on streets? Why do homeless babies are available in every single county of the world? WOW!!!!!! babies come with a silver spoon in their mouth.


Just a random thought, while trying to repress my emotions for a baby....

AHA!!!! New year is going to be here soon...lets see how was my 2007:

Like 32 previous years of my life, this year was wonderful too...I had new experiences and new fun moments and this time I was in New Country too, which has put its own spices into my life. One whole month is still in front of me, but it feels like time is running away...faster than Air and Light, so here is my 2007...

2007- A year, which is slipping away...slowly slowly, but at the same time running away too:

A wonderful year for me and my husband, another year to grow with myself. In the earlier months of 2007 Migration to US did felt a bit weird as I was alone & US didn't felt my own, but over the months these situations helped me understand myself. I Missed India, cried for it, wrote a lot about it and now getting over the crying part, not the missing & writing part though :)

On one level, it was a great feeling to have somethings and on another level that specific thing bothered me. I matured enough inside me more than outside in last one year that sometimes I wonder if I am the same girl, who was always bubbly and funny almost every second. I had lived some gracious moments and some embarrassed ones of my life in past but in last one year all those seems more useless, I have stopped wearing makeup and styling since almost 3 years but this year I was completely out of show offs of world. Well USA has alot to do in it...Anyways, I Made new friends here. Had Adventurous time together with Snehal. I should not have but still Consumed more alcohol than any other year. I Took the chance of traveling to wonderful new places in US, Enjoyed some new cultures, different foods and unknown languages. Explored some new places around here. Adopted two cats, Sultaan and Raeyna aka chutki, the most wonderful babies one can have.I cant live with out cats anymore. As any other person, I also turned a year older, still didn't felt bad about it, I gained some 35 pounds, but still did not felt too weird out. Found some Grey hair and thought of not coloring them ever. Found love and passion for life more than ever.
finally got the chance to solve some rotten issues and some black scars of life. I Took some more new risks and new responsibilities. On other note, Am still trying new career options and new business deals.

The biggest thing was I finalized a final goal to grow old with, old goals seems impractical & most of them I have achieved somewhere. As part of my new goal, I want to open a NGO and I have taken new step towards it. It makes me relax and happy. I always wanted to make Documentaries, so I did it...I made my Documentary about Defining America, its editing is yet not done, but slow and steady is me.
I finally took legal license for the first time in my life ( I used to drive illegally in India for years)
etc etc etc etc...........

Oh gosh!!!! too much happened in 2007 and its still going on n on... Well, over all personally and professionally wonderfully satisfying 2007.

My boss gave me some new work, which is suppose to be confidential and I am not suppose to show to others so we finalsied that I will work from home for few days untill work is done and she will get the details by emails...I was very happy and relaxed cos I travel 3 hours to and from my work. I was relaxed to get payed 2 hours extra each day and no worry to get ready and go....I started working today(first day) form home. I started at 9 as usual (I use to start my travel at 9) and I will work untill 7 as usual but here I have cut down my traveling time...so I am working from home, which does seems weird cos I am lazying and working, am relaxing and working, am working similar percentage of work in 4 hours which I use to do in 3 hours, so my work is getting suffered a bit, but if I stop writing this blog, I might can concentrate on it more....back to work...from home.