Ghungroo - The Bells

I want to paint...
I want to paint,
unwanted, unknown, unnamed painting
painting which has no meaning
which need no relations
which has no feelings
which has no answers
which is my own
which is inside my self
which is my outer world

I want to paint that...

I want to put the colors
in the Midst of canvas
throw some brush strokes
feel some textures
smooth some lines
remember some faces..

I want to paint that...


I will paint,
my life..my pain, my happiness
I will paint
my imagination, my desires, my hopes
I will paint
my success, my failure, my satisfactions

I want to paint that...


I want to paint...
unnamed,unwanted, unknown painting of
my self.....


Copyright © Vim

I started believeing in this phrase same way I used to believe years back, same way I believed for years, for self and for others and I am proud that I still can have faith in me and in my little secret of love.

The little secret is :

"You don't destroy the one you love...!!!"

Happy to be loved once and happy to love the world...

VJ

I grow
one day older
one day older, but
one year smarter

today I am,
one year smarter,
one year smarter, but
one century of self came in me...

today,
I am what I wanted to be

today, I am
free
happy
lonely
relax
and soulful,

without you in my life...

Copyright © Vim
June 16, 2008
mid-night

I was watching a short film on you tube...I was surprised to see how so many people just die or say commit suicide for pretty much no reasons, what so ever. I cant understand how they can be okay with not to see or feel the life, how is it even possible for someone to end the life, their own life. I do understand the hard time they must be going through and they probably are feeling the weirdest moments of life, probably when they are low or when time is not in their favor and probably they are living those moments when it seems like everything of life is harsh & against them, even then, still, how can someone just end their life?

There are many moments in my life have come and I face and feel that I am living for pretty much no reason, and then all of a sudden something inside me tells me that look at this life, this beautiful world, so many lovely things, places and many things which I have not seen or experienced, and then sometimes I just look for a reason OR sometimes someone close to me just gift me that reason...and I look at my life and find it so meaningful, so wonderful and so vulnerable.

I am surprised to know and see that its so easy for so many people to give up on life, their own life...are they not scared that when they will be dead, they are done...they cant come back...they cant see this world...there is nothing after you die...Gosh it scares the hell out of me that I will one day go away from this world and the world will keep running same way...but what scare me the most is someone killing their own self, own life, own dreams, own feelings...oh god!! bless those minds who r weak, bless those people who think life is nothing beyond today...bless those people my dear god....save them....give them power to rethink their decisions and help them to love their own selves and their precious life.

Well to be truthful, I have no idea for those reasons or harsh expressions where someone have to loose their life, but I do know that it is not what the ultimate power want you to do, otherwise you would not have got this life...otherwise you would have died in some geographical disaster...or something else...if you have to die you die naturally, not suicide. I don't believe in suicide and I am sure many of you also have no faith in this unnatural death....

VJ

I never expected that letting o would be that hard. I have to learn more about it now, to let go...I see him online everyday and I cant buzz him cos we will sign the papers soon. Soon we will be no one in each others life from husband and wife...I don't know if it sucks or not but it does hurt, too deep it hurts. I am sure it will get healed one day but right now I cant take the pain of this bruise. Even if I know that there was only one option left. I know it very well that more than drugs, violence and ignorance I need and deserve more...still letting go is the hard part, that too letting go of marriage and husband - oh well this is what life is...

VJ
May 27, 2008
17:10